This was a bit of a conversation while waiting for a meeting to begin, with a mother of two teenage girls:

“It has been nice to see young girls dressing nicely, this summer.  They really seem to care about their appearance.  The grunge look is finally behind us,” I said.  “Now if only the young boys would figure that out, and start dressing well, too.”

“My two daughters would definitely agree with you,” she replied.  “They complain to me all the time about the boys they see.  They are just not attractive.”

Do you feel like people do not take you seriously?  Do you feel like the world never seems to give you a break?  

Here is a hint about why that may be true:

You only get one chance to make a first impression.  

How you dress makes a difference.  What you say and how you say it makes a difference.  How you act makes a difference.  

You will never know how many opportunities have passed you by, because you looked like a slob.  How you dress, your hair style, how you stand, how you sit, and your overall appearance all make a difference.  Your attitude makes a difference.

You will never know how many friends you never made, because you act like a jerk, act lackadaisical or like you do not care, or spend all your time staring at a cellphone instead of putting that away and getting involved in the real world.  Interacting with those around you and how you do that makes a difference.

You will never know how many people decided not to say or do something that could have made a difference in your life – an improvement.  You will never know how many people held back, saying nothing, because you make negative comments, swear, dress poorly or like you do not care, have a bad attitude, or just do not make an effort to be positive in your manner.  

How you speak, how you present yourself, and the image you project to others makes a difference – to you.

You only get one chance to make a first impression.  And you blew it.

The goal is not to conform to what others want you to do; the goal is to be the person you should be, for your own benefit – for your own life.

The opportunities – the “breaks” – that you never get to see will be all kinds – friendships, romantic, employment, economic, just simple assistance, helpful advice, casual comments and compliments – the ways your life can benefit and be affected for the better by others are as numerous as the day is long – literally.

And those actions by others will give you opportunities to respond, react, and create new pathways to a better life.

It is up to you to make all those things happen.  Nobody can do that for you.

Do you want to stop feeling like the world is just not giving you a break?  Get rid of the negative things you do.  Only you can make that happen.  Be positive.  How you dress, what you say, how you say it, your demeanor, your attitude, how you present yourself – all these things matter.  They are your path to seeing the opportunities you would like to come your way.  

Spot your bad habits, and replace them with new, good habits.  Every bad habit blocks the way for the world to offer the breaks you are looking for, want, and hope for.

“If you come across, I’ll come across.” – singer Billie Holiday to her audience

If you come across, the world will come across.  

Friendship, romance, employment, economic possibilities, and more are just around the corner – waiting for you to get the message.

It takes a lot of effort – and time, particularly if you have dug yourself into a hole, and now have to first dig yourself out.  It will not happen overnight.  And it never ends.  But don’t be a quitter:  it will be worth it – your whole life long, into old age.

You only get one chance to make a first impression. 

Make every first impression count.  You will never know how many first impressions you made that you did not even realize were happening – like the teenage boys those girls see, and think so little of.  

You never know which first impressions will matter, and how much they will matter.  

But the world will notice.  
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